In theory, it’s easy enough to accept that we all need “me time” — some space to be alone and spend a little while doing something we enjoy, rather than giving our attention to anyone else. In practice, though, actually taking time for yourself can be a serious challenge, as a post on the Harvard Health Blog notes.

Finding “me time” is especially tough for parents of younger children, but also especially important: Harvard’s Dr. Beth Frates says the problem “is that parenting is a drain. It requires CEO-like thinking that happens in the prefrontal cortex, the place for self-control and rational decisions. That takes stamina, and if — check that — when you’re exhausted, you’ll shift into the amygdala, the emotional part of the brain that fights or flights, which is good against a bear attack, not so much against your child.” As such, “personal time isn’t a luxury. The airplane oxygen mask analogy — put on yours first so you can better help your child — is the classic, but she prefers the idea that you can’t pour from an empty cup; with nothing there, there’s nothing to give.”

There are no specific instructions for “me time.” The post says “the main requirement is that you look forward to whatever it is to get the reward of being fully absorbed, of losing your sense of time, and forgetting that you actually have bills, deadlines, or even children.” Exercise, reading or listening to music, or even just a few minutes of deep breathing can work. The crucial thing is simply to find a way to make it happen. For more information, you can read a PDF of the blog post here.