Your Zen minute: We spend so much of our lives on autopilot, it can be easy to never notice that some of the beliefs we take for granted might need adjustment. Part of mindfulness is stopping and noticing when that’s the case, so that we can live a life grounded in reality.

Welcome to Week 3 of “Attitude for Gratitude” — reflection on not only 2020 but yourself as well. Have you discovered any “Well, look at that!” moments? 2020 has definitely been more than generous in providing opportunities for learning about ourselves and others. Self-reflection may seem futile since we’re almost at the end of the year, but one of the biggest benefits of it is a chance to understand how you walked that journey. More importantly, looking at things mindfully (that is: non-judgmentally) can lead to a clearer perspective for personal growth.

This week’s exercise continues to focus on identifying your successes and opportunities for growth. Then, taking a couple examples from that information, we will start to do some growth setting for 2021. This is different from goal setting. According to a University of Scranton study, 92 percent of people who set goals never reach them. One main reason is that those goals focus on external validation. (For example, your goal is to go to Paris. So you land at Charles de Gaulle Airport. Now what?) We are going to focus on recognizing how you want to feel instead. Becoming clear on how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have. Once you have achieved that, actually creating that feeling in your life is easier and longer-lasting.

Ready? Let’s go! Take a look at your discoveries from this year. As you do, notice any feelings that start to emerge — perhaps you might wonder why you responded in a particular way? How would you rather feel? That’s key — once you get clear on how you want to feel, you start going for different goals than you did in the past. It’s about owning your life and growth versus being on autopilot. For this week, take some time to expand your insight into what you would like to change. Here are some additional questions to help:

• What was your biggest accomplishment?
• What do you wish you had done differently?
• What strengths have you discovered?

Remember, as always, do this with gratitude. Look at the events and reactions without judging — stay away from “I could have or should have done this differently” and “If they only hadn’t…”. View everything as it is. Reactions happen based on our life lenses. Maybe it’s time for some new ones!

This may seem like a great deal of work, but it is worth it in the long run. We will be using this to create a new focus for you in 2021. Keep going — you are doing great!

Thanks for joining us for this month’s challenge! If you do any of the exercises, we would love to hear how they went at shorelines@northshorebank.com. —Pat Ingelse, AVP, PMP