From now through Friday, July 29, the Corporate Community Outreach Committee is holding a care drive for foster children. Donations will go to Robyn’s Nest at Children’s Service Society, operating as part of Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin. You can read more about the care drive here.
AVP and Small Business Relationship Manager Jeremy Schmidt and his wife, Emily, have adopted two foster children, their 13-year-old son James and 6-year-old son Reagan. (They also have a daughter, Paige, 11.) We asked Jeremy to share his family’s experience with Shorelines in conjunction with the CCOC drive.
How many foster-care adoptions have you been involved with?
We have been involved in two foster-to-adoption scenarios, with our two sons, and have helped friends and family with theirs, acting as referrals and mentors. Our first adoption was with James in 2003-2004. We got a phone call the evening we were licensed: They were having trouble placing a 5-week-old who was born positive for cocaine, marijuana, and opiates. He was only five and a half pounds when we brought him home. He is now in advanced classes at school. Same situation for Reagan — born with the same chemicals in him, but we received him at 6 months of age. His head was flat on the back, and he was unable to roll or hold things. He was also small for his age, at only 11 pounds. He is also in advanced classes for math and reading.
Paige, Reagan, and James at Milwaukee County Zoo last fall.
Why did you and Emily enter the world of foster-care adoption?
Emily and I felt extremely pulled to the world of adoption when we first got married. We both had volunteered in high school with disadvantaged youths, and when we were 19, we attended a holiday party for foster youth. We met a youth who was about to age out of the system, who told us how all she had ever wanted was to have a forever family.
That was really the defining moment for us both that we could do more for our community and, in turn, do the right thing by some remarkable young people. What we ended up finding out was that children — whether biologically ours or not — do more for us than we do for them. They have brought our extended family closer together and made us more respectful of the blessings we have.
Emily and Jeremy.
What have you learned from foster adoption?
The most critical thing we have learned is that blood and DNA do not make a family. I was terrified when I first saw James at St. Joseph’s Hospital — he fit in my hand, basically, and could only be fed with two-ounce bottles; he had horrible shakes and breathing difficulties. But the minute I watched Emily hold him, the fear really did evaporate. There have been incredibly difficult times helping him work his way through various emotions and questions, but he and Reagan both have shown us how resilient and full of life we should all be. All the fears of developmental delays, etc., have been proven wrong — and usually are, we have found out. We’ve also learned that family tends to be much more openhearted than you would assume. And if not — it’s their loss.
What would you suggest to someone who wanted to help foster kids, or who was interested in foster-care adoption?
The process was relatively simple, and costs for adopting out of foster care are covered. To be sure, you have to steel yourself for lots of problems that can arise, but the rewards are so much greater.
We’ve come to find that society is so much more integrated than we thought, from a family perspective. There are also several groups and support individuals in the community. For anyone looking to adopt, we recommend opening your hearts to the children needing a loving and caring home in our community — there are more than you know. A great organization to work with is Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin. They can guide you through the process to get licensed and work with you through the ups and downs — and the greatest gift: bringing your children home at the end of the adoption hearing.