Your Zen minute: Buddhists who ask “What is the self?” have found it challenging — impossible, even — to come up with a clear answer. This is in no small part because we, like everything else in the universe, are constantly undergoing change as we move through time. You understand this instinctively — the you who went to elementary school every day was different in many important ways from the you who got up for work today. Meeting new goals means growing into new people. That’s scary, but it also makes life so very interesting.
Welcome back! Last month, our focus was around reviewing the impact 2020 had on us — what we handled well and where we have growth opportunities. We also identified what we truly want to feel and develop. You are truly the most important person in your life. With the hectic pace of work and family, it is easy to lose sight of remembering deep down how you want to feel every day.
This is where the fun begins!
Last year definitely had us going into uncharted territory, requiring us to quickly react just to move on to the next thing. So often we do things on auto-pilot to get things in the “Done” column without paying attention to our internal emotions. The key thing is, it’s great to go for what you want, but you should know why you are going after it. When you are clear on what you want to feel, you will begin doing things differently.
Take a look at your notes. Are any patterns starting to appear? As you look through the information, remember to see things simply as they are, without judgment. That’s what mindfulness is all about — noticing without attaching meaning or judgment. The goal of reviewing this is to become clear on what you want to feel. Based on what you see, take a few minutes to identify what you want to most strongly feel. Here are a few suggestions:
| Inspired | Alive | Fulfilled | Complete |
| Empowered | Effective | Balanced | Understood |
| Kind | Beautiful | Relaxed | Strong |
| Connected | At peace | Capable | Creative |
| Brave | Knowing | Intentional | Fearless |
Truly being clear on how you want to feel will give you the right coordinates for the route to creating the right goals to bring those feelings right up front. Be sure to include all your facades (good emotions and bad, strengths, weaknesses, beautiful qualities and all in between). That makes up every one of us unique critters!
This may seem to take so much time to figure out the what and why of feelings — know you are worth that time. When your energy flows to things that don’t matter or can’t be changed, that’s when life becomes more about managing distractions than being clear about your path.
Come back next week for a fun way to put all your hard work into a map to reach your goal. Stay calm, honest and mindful. If you do these exercises, we would love to hear how they went at shorelines@northshorebank.com. —Pat Ingelse, AVP, PMP